Emptiness Prevails

Posted on January 17, 2011 | 14 Comments

Unfurling my sails
Winds to calm my heart
Emptiness prevails

My wet brow is pale
Not good for a start
Unfurling my sails

Wanting for an ale
Look upon my chart
Emptiness prevails

Why the wind curtails
Keeping us apart
Unfurling my sails

Praying for strong gales
For love I must part
Emptiness prevails

I just can not fail
The tears start to smart
Unfurling my sails
Emptiness prevails

One Stop Poetry Form Villanelle

http://www.flickr.com/photos/dave77459/4898706812/

This entry was posted in Poetry, Villanelle and tagged Empty, Sail, Wind. Bookmark the permalink.

14 responses to “Emptiness Prevails”

Claudia | January 17, 2011 at 1:05 PM | Reply

michael – you did really good – good rhymes – you sticked to the form – i would say you unfurled your villanelle sails…kudos
maybe it’s by accident that you have the in between your first stanza..? made me almost miss your first line…

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- booguloo | January 17, 2011 at 1:42 PM | Reply
  
  On my view it appears OK. I’ll try and lower the picture just in case others are having the same problem. Thanks for the comments and the kudos.. I usually follow destructions very well. The old military guy that still resides inside.. lol
  
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Claudia | January 17, 2011 at 1:06 PM | Reply

i mean the picture in between your first stanza…

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- booguloo | January 17, 2011 at 1:45 PM | Reply
  
  If you return, could you see if your view has changed? Thanks Claudia!
  
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Margaret Bednar | January 17, 2011 at 5:22 PM | Reply

The view looks good on my computer… you must have fixed it. Very nice. One question because I don’t know the answer. Is it OK to leave the “s” off of a rhyme word? (like ale, then you use curtails) If so, it would have made my selections easier in my attempt. Either way, I think it is nice. I like the first two lines “unfurling my sails, winds to calm my heart…” That is how I imagine all sailers feeling getting out of the docks! That you tied it all in with a longing for a love is great. 🙂

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- booguloo | January 17, 2011 at 5:45 PM | Reply
  
  I too am a novice and hope another reader will be able to answer.. A couple years ago it would have been plural.. OK a bad sober joke.. but still sober.. ..smiles..
  
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Lu Ann | January 17, 2011 at 6:35 PM | Reply

Sounds like at the end, emptiness is what you lack the most… Awesome post, I loved the image 😀
CONGRATS ON THE AWARD WEEK 37!

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- booguloo | January 17, 2011 at 6:46 PM | Reply
  
  Thanks Lu Ann. My first villianelle attempt.
  
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Reggie | January 17, 2011 at 7:16 PM | Reply

This is my second read today on a villianelle…I liked that one and this one also. I mentioned as I commented on the other how I don’t know what a villianelle is but I do so love this.

I guess I’ll have to do some research

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- booguloo | January 17, 2011 at 7:31 PM | Reply
  
  Follow the one shot poetry link on the post. It’s an article on composition and an invitation to write one..
  
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Jamie Dedes, all rights reserved | January 18, 2011 at 2:04 AM | Reply

Wow! You are really being adventurous, trying out new forms. Well done here. I like it. The rhythm and flow sees perfect to me.

Looks like you are having fun with it all. 🙂

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- booguloo | January 18, 2011 at 11:53 AM | Reply
  
  Having a great time… when do I get my check?
  
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.alex.press. | January 19, 2011 at 1:30 PM | Reply

“The tears start to smart”
It has been an incredibly long time since I have seen such an amazing lyrical poem that so strongly incorporates physical with emotional elements. You are an amazing writer. So glad to have found you here. 🙂
Be Well,
Alex

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- booguloo | January 19, 2011 at 2:25 PM | Reply
  
  Gratitude accepted and given. I blush.
  
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