Thanks David Soule

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Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’ She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.’

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?’

She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.’

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,

‘If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.

8 responses to “Thanks David Soule

  1. elizabeth ann johnson-murphree

    Well I see that there are no other comments on this page to date; however, being an old southern lady from Alabama the imagery is outstanding. I laughed for ten minutes before I could comment and sent it to all of my relatives in the south. If it were not in Georgia and if my mother had not passed years ago, I would say “yep, that’s my mother”. Thank you for making my day. E


    • I spent some time in Vidalia, GA and really ate a Vidalia onion like an apple. A friend of mine’s father a successful businessman had assortment of shine and I’ll never forget the apple and cinnamon shine. Served in a demitasse cup
      and it damn near put a hole in my tongue but not damned enough to request a second cup. —Smile—

      Liked by 1 person

      • elizabeth ann johnson-murphree

        I love this story. I am a southern transplant living in Wisconsin since 1966; but it is true, you cannot take the south out of the girl. 🙂


  2. Reblogged this on LORIEB and commented:
    She swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth LOL


  3. This is a good one! We do like the truth when it’s pointed towards someone other than ourselves! 🙂


  4. Reblogged this on quirkywritingcorner and commented:
    I’m still giggling. ~ Connie


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