Tag Archives: Addiction

I Haven’t Done Anything yet Either

The halls echo softly with children’s cries

Mom lies in her locked hole getting high

Garbage strewn beneath the children’s feet

Refrigerator unplugged with nothing to eat

 

Bulging bellies in America hard to believe

And there’s no one around to care or to grieve

Fly’s in the kid’s eyes are having a feast

Even the roaches deserted with no crumbs to eat

 

© 2011 Michael Yost 06/20

A Blank Life

Meth Pipe

 

 

 

 

Tempted by an old addiction
A friend went over the top
Falling into his old routine
Now he’s unable to stop

Triggering deep seated issues
Feelings from so long ago
Getting high rather than crying
Going with the flow

What caused this aberration?
Bringing back the black hole
Stampeding over emotions
Smoke floating over the bowl

The blank in life surrounding
Only memories from the past
Keep coming to the forefront
Torturing tears of the harassed

© 2011 Michael Yost 10/01

 

Crusted Gaze

Depression rages
Strangling sanity’s loose hold
Sleep eludes the night
Cowering away daylight
Leaves all but a crusted gaze

©2010 Michael Yost 12/23

Tweaker

meth-043

Busted seams of tattered dreams deeds hidden from the sun
Driven by the dawning twilight, only to be spun
Twitter tweakers face aglow, nursing a warm beer
Sweaty fingered Razor tweeting, “McKenzie needs a lift here”

Last lick bindle prick, reflection surrounds the spoon
Shifting stance, shoulder glance, hiding from the moon
Rubbing thread bare Ruby Rigid swollen with desire
Live for today, never stay, time will soon expire

© 2010 Michael Yost 11/09

Teach Your Children

Once tangled up in an addicted existence
Kept my family hostage, but at a distance
Now they’re gone, done with coexistence
Not by mine, but with their insistence

I’m blessed by most with conversation
Texting mostly with a short duration
I’m not complaining now, it’s still a relation
It’s a new life for all, dealing with isolation

© 2011 Michael Yost 07/09

A Blank Life

Tempted by an old addiction

A friend went over the top

Falling into his old routine

Now he’s unable to stop

Triggering deep seated issues

Feelings from so long ago

Getting high rather than crying

Going with the flow

What caused this aberration?

Bringing back the black hole

Stampeding over emotions

Smoke floating over the bowl

The blank in life surrounding

Only memories from the past

Keep coming to the forefront

Torturing tears of the harassed

© 2011 Michael Yost 10/01

“Bar Stool” Gary Jules

Old man on a barstool watching TV
Got up and came over to sit closer to me
He said “You look familiar to someone I knew
But when were your age we were older than you
Jimmy was twenty and I seventeen
And to us there was nothing but girls and machines
Jimmy got married and I went to war
I still don’t know what we were doing it for
But if you’ll buy me a drink–turkey on ice
Then I could give you some advice

“You just stay in the bar
For as long as you can
As long as you’re drinking
Then you’ve got the world in your hand

“There’s no shame in hanging your world by a string
And you know there’s no harm in not thinking a thing
But trying to find a place for yourself in this world
Is like trying to make a wife of an American girl
If you’ll trade me a drink for a story or two
Then you’ll know what you need to do

“You just stay in the bar
For as long as you can
You know love is for sissies
It’s whiskey that makes you a man”

Now the old man got up and stumbled out in the street
He’d been drinking all day and left his bar tab with me
I didn’t have the money to cover his bill
But I found me a man who looked like me, younger still
And said, “Buy me a drink and I’ll tell you a tale
About the old man who taught me so well

You just stay in the bar
For as long as you can
Hell I know you’re a friend
I can tell by the shakes in your hand
You just stay in the bar
For as long as you dare
As long as you’re tipping
Then you’ve got a good friend somewhere

Never Again, Again

The pressure is familiar weighing heavily on my chest and feelings. Happening at least two times in the past.  One left me flat on my back with tubes coming out of everywhere with various colors flowing.  The second one was the worst place I’ve ever been.

Pushed again into the darkest area of my psyche. No hand or footholds to help me out and I started to cry uncontrollably for no real reason.

Then they came in like what spirits might do. I only guess of course but very different from the last time. Gaining control of my heaving they seemed not to see or hear me when I tried to introduce myself.

So I’m alone again falling deeper into myself without any hope of coming out of it.  Now they’re translucent and disappearing. Losing track of time days melting together with only one line left.

© 2015 Michael Yost 04/25

Wicked World

Oh wicked world wandering
Unmeasured steps reveal
Your careless squandering
You spend what you can’t steal

Poor man left pondering
Who hasn’t found his next meal
Caught up in wondering
Where’s fairness in this deal

Oh wicked world blundering
Mistakes never to conceal
Sky’s open thundering
Too late for your appeal

© 2011 Michael Yost

Phlegm Gurgles

Phlegm gurgles from the bottom of my lungs
Breathing still takes more of an effort
My new sense of smell picks up old men’s dung
Stale cigs still reeks and makes my chest hurt

Almost awake I try to remember
Phlegm keeps gurgling and my head is swollen
The night seemed short and drink gave me no cheer
Ass is on fire, should I feel my colon?

© 2015 Michael Yost 06/13

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Beyond Purpose

We all have a purpose beyond who we are
Ignoring it and pushing it too far
Everyone knows it comes up too late
Ignoring me and pushing me to hate

Now just around the next corner I peeked
This far away I could smell him he reeked
Leaving mom and me alone long ago
We each forgave watching bloody piss flow

© 2015 Michael Yost 04/26

 

Never Again Again

The pressure is familiar weighing heavily on my chest and feelings. Happening at least two times in the past. One left me flat on my back with tubes coming out of everywhere with various colors flowing. The second one was the worst place I’ve ever been.
Pushed again into the darkest area of my psyche. No hand or footholds to help me out and I started to cry uncontrollably for no real reason.
Then they came in like what spirits might do. I only guess of course but very different from the last time. Gaining control of my heaving they seemed not to see or hear me when I tried to introduce myself.
So I’m alone again falling deeper into myself without any hope of coming out of it. Now they’re translucent and disappearing. Losing track of time and days melting together with only one line left.

© 2015 Michael Yost 04/25

 

Have It All

In a perfect world we’d have it all
Poet’s would have their favorite pen
Or a keyboard where it’s hard to scrawl

Spitting out tropes like Peter’s Plan
While Wendy’s been humming and hawking
Keeping her head above the quicksand

Hook doesn’t know he’s winding out of time
Mr Grin waiting, watching and grinding teeth
Tic toc tic toc music so sublime

©2015 Michael Yost 04/07

Every June and July I Hide Inside

 

Holding onto pain because there’s nothing more
Black nails pick endlessly at open sores
Fire ants crawl up my arm screaming for a score
Who wants to recognize better to ignore

It’s time for the Prom and to start the party
Expects me to pick her up well and hearty
The King and Queen can’t be to late or swarthy
Cutting lines in the car and the door hurried

Start of the drizzle with wet card boarded roof and walls
Our last shared eight was cut heavy, light and small
Rivulets forming and finding taint and balls
Brings black rain twisted metal and her scream’s death call
© 2015 Michael Yost 03/28

Oppression

Dents in my forehead from my keyboard
Butt dimples flattened now smooth as a gourd
Now since the first, following depression
Crashing through into hell’s choice, oppression

Sleep is fleeting and the mirror cringes
Weighing heavy and bending the hinges
All for the purpose to lose weight with meth
Gasping and fighting hard for my last breathe

 

© 2015 Michael Yost 03/20

Empty Holes

No where is now here
Streaming down my legs
Making disappear
Our straws empty kegs

Now here is no where
A black hole fills me
As the people all share
But nobody sees

© 2015 Michael Yost 03/13

 

It’s Always a Gamble

What does the hapless old fool do holding two pair
Bluffing only himself feeling the cold stares
Watching the full boat rowing up the river
Gathering two by two plus one with the shivers

It’s his turn to bet looking through his rivals eyes
Looking to find his “tell” he shows when he lies
Both having it on the line they’re hardened like steel
When one of them wins the church bells will peal

Pushing all his chips forward the pot almost doubles
With winning this hand it’ll clear up his troubles
All in, he spoke quietly, relaxed and certain
Lights dimming, audience cursing, All in all It’s still last curtain

(off in the distance) Dong, Dong, Dong

© 2014 Michael Yost 07/03

Perhaps Some Craps over a Bottle of Schnapps

Your tender caress helped fill in the gaps
That were left open for trips, traps and claps
Hoping to catch someone who hasn’t collapsed
Or who ran the race without a relapse© 2014 Michael Yost 06/15

 

So You Had to Ask or

Skimming the water, how do we know
How deep or shallow the water is
Without running the risk of vulnerability
Or are we to know only when it’s his

Does Charon always charge for to and fro
If you had to assk for the answer it always burns
Are (S)elected memories of a rich man’s health
The only way to express funneling Wealth..

© 2014 Michael Yost 04/16

Blinded by the Light *

Ashes scattered around the ashtray
Wine class rolling round on the wood floor
Bubble head swiveling on her shoulders
She’s looking for her glass and wants more

Sees the empties pounds for another
One’s too much and twenty not enough
Last call already shouted it’s over
We grab her swinging arms needing cuffs

The dimmer lights turned up are blinding
Well on her way feeling conviction
Toes dragging across the dirty floor
Giving into fears and addiction

© 2013 Michael Yost 07/15

*Not the song

Time Wrapped

Time has wrapped itself around all the clocks
Conflicted sit there and stare pulling at their socks
The hurdy gurdy man gazing with tranquility
He’s the man without credibility

Hoping what you found doesn’t kill or lead to a broil
Your tic toc has been strung out for another spoil
Giving you less time to trim your ships sail
For the storms up a head promises hale

It’s your crew on the main deck that have drowned 
Assured once again your going to go down
The green seas are boiling over your deck
Someone left their nails stuck in your sinking wreck

© 2013 Michael Yost 06/02

http://poetryblogroll.blogspot.com/2013/06/poetry-pantry-152.html

For Poetry Pantry

Shag Stands Straight

 

Early morning your wings disintegrate
Your blackened eyes feeling the heavy weight
No one will care you cleaned the speaker’s grate
Or managed to have the shag stand straight

Cranking it up turns on other speakers
By this time you’re putting on your sneakers
Running away from the squally squeakers
Will help you now to find other seekers

All this around me my friend Shabu’s cool
Shabu helps me go ahead and skip school
Go to the hall and shoot some awesome pool
Later they found you face down in a stool

© 2013 Michael Yost 04/07

Picture from  www.superradio90.com

Broken Spikes

Fixing those broken spikes with duct tape
Then after having danced through Gotham in his cape
A passerby deep in thought smiled and walked her route
All sucked up and not recognizable, he calls out

“Momma it’s me; momma.” surprised she turns
Memories and tears flowed causing her eyes to burn.
He lied, “Momma I’ve been clean and sober three weeks
You helped twice before and I failed because I was weak.”

It was discussed with his dad and set new boundaries
A third chance was given for his recovery
Not all succeed and the next day was his downfall
Found in the bathroom; his momma now wears her black shawl

© 2012 Michael Yost 07/24

Your Own Denial*

Rejecting your own selfish strife
Not giving a dam about your wife
Leaving your children out of your life
Only your addiction in your sight

An expert at hiding your symptoms
Not able to handle your problems
Holding your family up for ransom
No responsibility for their outcome

© 2011 Michael Yost

*In progress

A Blank Life

Tempted by an old addiction
A friend went over the top
Falling into his old routine
Now he’s unable to stop

Triggering deep seated issues
Feelings from so long ago
Getting high rather than crying
Going with the flow

What caused this aberration?
Bringing back the black hole
Stampeding over emotions
Smoke floating over the bowl

The blank in life surrounding
Only memories from the past
Keep coming to the forefront
Torturing tears of the harassed

 

© 2011 Michael Yost