Tag Archives: Confusion

It Should Have Been Six

 

If she would love me I’d feel it forced

If she would love me I’d feel remorse

It should have happened already by now

It should have happened before our vows

 

If I had known it was out of sympathy

If I had known before today she’d be free

It should have been done with feelings of love

It should have been done without feeling shoved

 

If you told me I wouldn’t be grieved

If you told me I would feel deceived

It should have been your responsibility

It should have been six so you were easier to carry

 

© 2011 Michael Yost 06/27

 

I Haven’t Done Anything yet Either

The halls echo softly with children’s cries

Mom lies in her locked hole getting high

Garbage strewn beneath the children’s feet

Refrigerator unplugged with nothing to eat

 

Bulging bellies in America hard to believe

And there’s no one around to care or to grieve

Fly’s in the kid’s eyes are having a feast

Even the roaches deserted with no crumbs to eat

 

© 2011 Michael Yost 06/20

Pete

childrens-portrait-photographer-elliot-jonah-bridge-1

That’s Pete and myself 20 years ago.
Today I walked the rail alone, because Pete had to ride.
It was a beautiful coach and everything;
He always looked his best in his dress blues.

It was a beautiful spring morning then too.
The ground was soft that morning and fruitful;
The worms we got were huge and the trout ate em up.
Almost as big as the ones crawling out from under that tarp.

I brought this picture today to remember important things.
Pete’s sacrifice is obvious and full of meaning.
What’s not so obvious is that
Pete greased the last three feet of that rail.

©2011 Michael Yost 01/14

Pete is everyone’s brother, son and father

up.the.anteater@gmail.com

http://www.booguloo.wordpress.com

I Need to Up Wright

I need to write this today
Waiting to fall in love and play
I need to melt at first sight
And please let it happen tonight

My ache is real and gaining strength
The pendulum blade drops in length
How many failures before my death
Before the blade takes my last breath

Last words written with the fall of night
Then the Queen’s ball only pairs in sight
I see Gwen smile does she wait for me?
No the Prince comes up and I flee

© 2016 Michael Yost 04/10

It Caresses The Tip

MarionS.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rushes in on a musky sweet wave
Almost like flash flooding creates and behaves
The cool sensuous flesh soon fills the void
Shooting cold chills through her opening Freud
Pushing forward and up clamping shut
Just in time
Only to lose a couple drops of the sublime
Melon for you
Melon for me
Such aware company
© 2010 Michael Yost 11/24

 

 

Another Tomorrow Today

Senryu Forty Nine

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Live for another tomorrow

Lying about all the yesterdays

No time to confront your sorrow

When today is wasting away

 

Soon it will be today again

Try living in the moment now

Lying about yesterday’s a sin

And to worry about tomorrow

 

© 2015 Michael Yost 02/22

A Blank Life

Meth Pipe

 

 

 

 

Tempted by an old addiction
A friend went over the top
Falling into his old routine
Now he’s unable to stop

Triggering deep seated issues
Feelings from so long ago
Getting high rather than crying
Going with the flow

What caused this aberration?
Bringing back the black hole
Stampeding over emotions
Smoke floating over the bowl

The blank in life surrounding
Only memories from the past
Keep coming to the forefront
Torturing tears of the harassed

© 2011 Michael Yost 10/01

 

Crusted Gaze

Depression rages
Strangling sanity’s loose hold
Sleep eludes the night
Cowering away daylight
Leaves all but a crusted gaze

©2010 Michael Yost 12/23

The Mysteries

It’s beyond my comprehension. I really don’t understand what you are trying to convey. I don’t doubt your ability to communicate; I’m beginning to doubt my mental capacity and or development. Surely you of all must understand, given your way of weaving words and abstracts.

I see others all around me falling into your cadence and your vestibules of verbiage; with me being left behind, the brass knocker in my hands, banging at the door of perception. Am I the child in front of the TV still questioning, “Who is the Kaiser and why is he in my Bugs Bunny cartoon”? The mysteries remain.

© 2010 Michael Yost 12/10

Tweaker

meth-043

Busted seams of tattered dreams deeds hidden from the sun
Driven by the dawning twilight, only to be spun
Twitter tweakers face aglow, nursing a warm beer
Sweaty fingered Razor tweeting, “McKenzie needs a lift here”

Last lick bindle prick, reflection surrounds the spoon
Shifting stance, shoulder glance, hiding from the moon
Rubbing thread bare Ruby Rigid swollen with desire
Live for today, never stay, time will soon expire

© 2010 Michael Yost 11/09

Favorite Things

Water boarding prisoners and pulling off nails
Beating their backs with my cat o nine tails
Brown human packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Shaving their heads with nicked and dulling razors
Zapping their soft spots with high voltage Taser’s
Lemon and lime juice make paper cuts sting
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in cammies with cameras that flashes
Piling up prisoners not covering their asses
Some didn’t make it and wished for some wings
These are a few of my favorite things

When the trials start
When the prisons close
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad

© 2011 Michael Yost

Pete

childrens-portrait-photographer-elliot-jonah-bridge-1.jpg

That’s Pete and myself 20 years ago.
Today I walked the rail alone, because Pete had to ride.
It was a beautiful coach and everything;
He always looked his best in his dress blues.

It was a beautiful spring morning then too.
The ground was soft that morning and fruitful;
The worms we got were huge and the trout ate em up.
Almost as big as the ones crawling out from under that tarp.

I brought this picture today to remember important things.
Pete’s sacrifice is obvious and full of meaning.
What’s not so obvious is that
Pete greased the last three feet of that rail.
© 2011 Michael Yost 04/23

Pete could be everyone’s brother, son and father

booguloo@live.com
booguloo.wordpress.com

Growing Older

 

Growing older shortens time
The sun and shovels blister
Dead Men’s Chest off key’s a crime
Dying is lifetime’s closure

This is not the bitter end
The wheelhouse rolls with raves
And the main sail billow sends
Helped pushed and pulled by waves

The dead men told no tales
And those who danced with Jack Ketch
Or went for Moby Dick the whale
Anything else was another stretch

© 2014 Michael Yost 05/13

Dissolving Fears

Being alone is, one of my greatest fears.
Not having a sweet lady, very near.
Someone to talk, to let words fill the air.
Instead of writing, about this despair.

Alone again in, a cheerful crowded room.
Wandering around, seems to be my doom.
A single light glows, as I scan for a date.
Could this be the one, as it’s getting late?

Mutual eyes meeting, the room getting bright.
Approaching slowly, as to not give fright.
Talking to her true, she made it quite clear.
This may be the one, dissolving the fears.

© 2011 Michael Yost 06/09

Dazing Phrasing

The feelings are real but are only my feelings
Just as most of my thoughts are just as fleeting
Only do they matter if they become some actions
And then to only mean something to some factions

Trying to sort out what really matters to me
But feelings and thoughts sometimes get the better of me
Most of the time they lead to no actions
End up just being some sort of distractions

To some I know this makes perfect sense
And to others becoming much too intense
And yet to some others really weird
Find that talking to me is something to be feared

So finding out what really matters to me
May be something I’ll never really see
So if you see me walking around in a daze
It’s just me feeling and thinking of a phrase

© 2011 Michael Yost 06/20

Intoxicating Scent

Under my fingertips your lips were moist.
I was certain I heard your pleasure voiced
Those goose bumps were real, I felt at your door.
That brief stolen kiss whispering one more

My feet in the door, one more kiss to gain
Hands slid down your frame I knew you’d abstain
Intoxicating scent left on my hands
I left rather quickly fearing quicksand

©2011 Michael Yost 04/28

Best Read with New Meds

Lazy eye turns and I see double

Tired eyes close, the start of the trouble

Drifting away, sleep seals my work

Minutes later, a sudden jerk

 

Awake now and ready to start

Writing half lines within my heart

It’s a price I pay with new meds

Wonder if it’s worth, sleeping instead

 

© 2012 Michael Yost 1/15

Alien Reconstruction

Welcome everybody to the introduction

Hopefully I’ll explain it all through my induction

Building a new existence through self seduction

There’s no time now for self destruction

Compiling the knowledge for instruction

Eliminating the extra work through deduction

Now it’s time to begin the inner construction

First finding all the hindering walls by deduction

Then knocking down all those obstructions

And leveling off all the reductions

Finishing my new existence by conduction

Forgetting the time of the alien abduction

© 2011 Michael Yost

May I Wonder Aloud?

Like the song, I ask where all the flowers have gone.

Where are the people that were part of my life growing

up as a babe and young boy?

I know the answer; they have slipped away into a memory

I have the memories, deep memories, I should be happy.

 

Next the teenage years and a lot of the same people are

there; but there’s new ones too. They were priming me

 for the new adult life and the first loves of a teen.  It was

happy anxiety.  Those people and the girls have all slipped

away into memories.  I have the memories, deep memories,

I should be happy.

 

As a young man the 7 seas were going to be my home

and I married a young lady to keep my house. We had one

child and finally four growing up and out of the home. 

Three have wives and husband of their own. Those children raised

me!  The wife and I drew apart and the family all slipped

away into memories. I have the memories, deep memories,  

I should be happy.

 

Aging as people do, I found a few friends; the kids were

all far away and I turned to writing as an outlet. Nothing

was ever published, but that didn’t matter; the writing

was for my benefit, no one else’s. One day the Doctor

told me I would soon lose my memories and after a

while I would finally die. So now I write even more of my

memories, so I can remember them; so I should be happy.

 

 

© 2012 Michael Yost 2/7

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blue Marble

Hurling through space we see the blue marble
Their scans disrupts our weapon’s array
Our radio gear now nothing but garble
Forced to bow down only to obey

It didn’t matter that we were human
A.I. integrating our future
Ten year trip tests NASA acumen
Waiting dissolving the sutures

© 2015 Michael Yost 08/25

Playing Games

From the pit of my bowels I boil
Every breathe I take fuels the flame
Working hard to find my path through moil
With so many out there playing games

Your generosity only maims
Causing permanent pain with lame legs
Only some insiders took the blame
No matter what they plead or beg

The weird world waits for their last sentence

© 2015 Michael Yost 08/23

Traces of Faces

Traces of faces staring while  on my calloused knees

Praying to release me from their dark ceremonies.

The Brothers slamming doors driving it back into my ears.

Overwhelming my head causing these streams of tears

 

Crawling up the wall slipping on the children’s tears soaked moss…

Finally falling feeling failure and another loss.

I gave away my possession’s as I was being pulled back

Keeping moldy bread that I found and water in a sack.

 

The ten foot doors were closed and locked.

My efforts were answered with a rock to knock.

A brown hooded robe came with dark sunken eyes.

My mind remembering all the pain, hate and lies

 

I was a baby left with the Brothers years before.

My nightmare’s were started behind their locked doors.

Walking through the door wishing the keystone would drop.

Remembering at eight working the fields tending the crops.

 

© 2015 Michael Yost 01/10

Never Again, Again

The pressure is familiar weighing heavily on my chest and feelings. Happening at least two times in the past.  One left me flat on my back with tubes coming out of everywhere with various colors flowing.  The second one was the worst place I’ve ever been.

Pushed again into the darkest area of my psyche. No hand or footholds to help me out and I started to cry uncontrollably for no real reason.

Then they came in like what spirits might do. I only guess of course but very different from the last time. Gaining control of my heaving they seemed not to see or hear me when I tried to introduce myself.

So I’m alone again falling deeper into myself without any hope of coming out of it.  Now they’re translucent and disappearing. Losing track of time days melting together with only one line left.

© 2015 Michael Yost 04/25

Wars Last Stand

The rust runs off red

Machinery froze

Black fluids bled

Collecting the dead

Sun’s bleach expose

The rust runs off red

Flame not right yet

Bodies decompose

Black fluids bled

Bound and broken treads

Rendering of foes

The rust runs off red

Bloated children fed

Torn pennant blows

Black fluids bled

Grinding bones for bread

Stark machines pose

The rust runs off red

Black fluids bled

© 2011 Michael Yost 01/24

Suffer Alone