Tag Archives: Death

It Should Have Been Six

 

If she would love me I’d feel it forced

If she would love me I’d feel remorse

It should have happened already by now

It should have happened before our vows

 

If I had known it was out of sympathy

If I had known before today she’d be free

It should have been done with feelings of love

It should have been done without feeling shoved

 

If you told me I wouldn’t be grieved

If you told me I would feel deceived

It should have been your responsibility

It should have been six so you were easier to carry

 

© 2011 Michael Yost 06/27

 

In the Glass I See

There in the glass I see a sixteen year old boy with an old man’s mask on. I begin to notice the dark circles under the green eyes that sparkle; nothing dull yet; but his glasses do need cleaning. I see white stubble and mustache with a two inch long goatee on his saddening face; like he’s had no reason to shave in the past few days. Looking closer I see the goatee covers a weak double chin with a single wrinkle that goes down the length of his neck. The same white stubble covers his shaved head to cover the thinning bald spot in the back and what’s left of his front hairline.
His round upturned nose reminds me of a Santa’s nose, but there’s a thin scar going diagonal from the left nostril to the top that makes his nose tilt to the right side of his face. His cheekbones are set high, but it seems to highlight the dark circles more. The ears are long and close to the head.
Wait a minute… he’s starting to smile with a broad grin and his eyes are lighting up and sparkling even more. His whole face transforms and laughs a little with a tear rolling down his cheek and then is when I happily succumb to my fate realizing the old man is me and that my wrinkles are really my laugh lines. My green eyes are still that of the sixteen year old from so many years ago… but they’re still with me today.

© 2011 Michael Yost 12/10

I Haven’t Done Anything yet Either

The halls echo softly with children’s cries

Mom lies in her locked hole getting high

Garbage strewn beneath the children’s feet

Refrigerator unplugged with nothing to eat

 

Bulging bellies in America hard to believe

And there’s no one around to care or to grieve

Fly’s in the kid’s eyes are having a feast

Even the roaches deserted with no crumbs to eat

 

© 2011 Michael Yost 06/20

Cold Again

Her side is cold again
Asking aloud what about us
I’ve have always been here
I did it this time by turning your head away

Nobody lives forever on the blue
Smaller than a grain of sand’s molecules
Single molecules one million times smaller than a grain
Tumbling in the abyss being pushed and pulled

The walls were cold and very white
Not unlike the foam from her ski do’s wake
I caused her to look away and she hit a boat
And her side will again be cold

© 2013 Michael Yost 05/06

Pete

childrens-portrait-photographer-elliot-jonah-bridge-1

That’s Pete and myself 20 years ago.
Today I walked the rail alone, because Pete had to ride.
It was a beautiful coach and everything;
He always looked his best in his dress blues.

It was a beautiful spring morning then too.
The ground was soft that morning and fruitful;
The worms we got were huge and the trout ate em up.
Almost as big as the ones crawling out from under that tarp.

I brought this picture today to remember important things.
Pete’s sacrifice is obvious and full of meaning.
What’s not so obvious is that
Pete greased the last three feet of that rail.

©2011 Michael Yost 01/14

Pete is everyone’s brother, son and father

up.the.anteater@gmail.com

http://www.booguloo.wordpress.com

Found Memories

Renewed feelings slipped through my defense
Had to make room they were getting intense
Beating back only stiffened their resolve
Heart’s overflowing as it dissolves

Passing by again her head held high
Mona Lisa smile eyes piercing deny
Any love left has gone by the way side
Now I see it nothing’s left but to die

© 2016 Michael Yost 03/23

 

Stop Sign

Yesterday I believe was our start
Today marks the binding of our hearts
Tomorrow starts the journey of our love
With the showing of the two white doves

The world was our bumpy road ahead
Laughing with each new bump as we sped
Not a care or worry crossed our minds
That is before they ran a stop sign

The angels were there to push our car
Before the semi got very far
Still the semi hit the brakes
Saving all our lives for Heaven’s Sake

© 2016 Michael Yost 03/17

Nepotism Negatives

We follow them double back up the creek
Then the dogs losing our scent was bleak
The Queen gagged over the saddle awake
She doesn’t know I do this for my sake

My words no longer has the power
They went astray when I turned coward
Even holding my feet to the fire
I can’t tell the truth known to be a liar

They planned to kill us both yesterday
My wicked brother was next and paid
Telling Queen mother other son’s plans
Racing to hope with a new lifespan

She had her archers kill all but one
The man riding the white horse her son
Taking him to the stocks and later hung
Then the Queen died and His subjects sung

© 03/15 Michael Yost 2016

 

The Fish WRapper

Terry looked down at his bloody knuckles, “Dammed red heads, who knew that peckerwood was going to hit his head on the cement stairs?” “Well help me put him in the boat and let’s grab some of those cinder blocks.”
Pulling up at 2:30am the brothers parked by the boat ramp. The thermos steam was starting to trail off the cup until you blew on it and then it fogged up the windows. Joe broke the silence, “You didn’t have to kill that kid.” “Joe, that wasn’t a kid or a sixteenth, he was trying to rip us off, and hell I only hit him once.”
Look at that, someone has already put their Bass Master in the water and its only 3am. The State Game and Fishing Officer pulled in, parked and then walked over to talk to the two fellas. “You fellas look new to the area. How are you this morning?”
“Stay calm Terry, whispered Terry.” “Morning Officer, we’re doing OK. We used to come here as kids and it’s our first time back. We sure are looking forward to getting some bass today.”
“Well before you go out let me update you about our little place here. My son runs the bait shop and prints the local rag, “The Fish WRapper”. We’re still a small fishing community here at Liars Cove. You’ve got to be off the lake at 4pm. We’re just big enough to support a State Game and Fishing Officer, but small enough that I have to share an office with my big mouth son Peter, but he prefers to be called Junior.”
“Well this is Terry and I’m Joe. If you don’t mind we’re going to get out on the lake. We’ll catch up some more later this afternoon.”
“That sounds good boys; my name is Officer Michael P Pecker, senior. Oh and junior’s a little sensitive about his red hair and only his friends can call him Peckerwood. Now where is that boy?”

© 2012 Michael Yost 3/13

Disguise

*”If you wanna find
Out what’s behind these cold eyes
You’ll just have to claw
Your way through this
Disguise”

Working the floor smiling hiding tears
People behind pushing trying to steer
Her young death hard keeping up the facade
Sadness now wanting madness’s rod

No more penance and self flagellation
Opening these gate’s reputation
Run away or you’ll make your own wreath
Looking up you’ll see you’re underneath

© 03/10 Michael Yost 2016

*In The Flesh
Roger Waters
Pink Floyd
The Wall

Another Tomorrow Today

Senryu Forty Nine

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Live for another tomorrow

Lying about all the yesterdays

No time to confront your sorrow

When today is wasting away

 

Soon it will be today again

Try living in the moment now

Lying about yesterday’s a sin

And to worry about tomorrow

 

© 2015 Michael Yost 02/22

The Curb Can be Cold

Here we are again, once more on the curb
What we own is here, on the lawn, in the “burb”
All were looking and we’d hoped not to disturb
Old friends closed drapes, when Dad’s cries were heard

His job and home gone, no one seemed to care
Once his shotgun was found, he looked for stares
Raising his gun, cops killed him there in his chair
All were looking and we’d hoped not to scare

© 2014 Michael Yost 03/05

A Blank Life

Meth Pipe

 

 

 

 

Tempted by an old addiction
A friend went over the top
Falling into his old routine
Now he’s unable to stop

Triggering deep seated issues
Feelings from so long ago
Getting high rather than crying
Going with the flow

What caused this aberration?
Bringing back the black hole
Stampeding over emotions
Smoke floating over the bowl

The blank in life surrounding
Only memories from the past
Keep coming to the forefront
Torturing tears of the harassed

© 2011 Michael Yost 10/01

 

Empty Crucifixes

across_the_river_styx_by_alfredocaceres[1]

Imagination gives lift to my wings
Makes it easier to lift my voice and sing
Anchors scrapping the bottom breaking their strings
Like a catapult boulder flung on a fling

Landing hard beyond the wide and long river Styx
No change in my mouth to pay for Charon’s pyx
More things that could have happened were politics
Instead praising God for empty crucifixes

© 2015 Michael Yost 03/28

 

 

 

Tweaker

meth-043

Busted seams of tattered dreams deeds hidden from the sun
Driven by the dawning twilight, only to be spun
Twitter tweakers face aglow, nursing a warm beer
Sweaty fingered Razor tweeting, “McKenzie needs a lift here”

Last lick bindle prick, reflection surrounds the spoon
Shifting stance, shoulder glance, hiding from the moon
Rubbing thread bare Ruby Rigid swollen with desire
Live for today, never stay, time will soon expire

© 2010 Michael Yost 11/09

Favorite Things

Water boarding prisoners and pulling off nails
Beating their backs with my cat o nine tails
Brown human packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Shaving their heads with nicked and dulling razors
Zapping their soft spots with high voltage Taser’s
Lemon and lime juice make paper cuts sting
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in cammies with cameras that flashes
Piling up prisoners not covering their asses
Some didn’t make it and wished for some wings
These are a few of my favorite things

When the trials start
When the prisons close
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad

© 2011 Michael Yost

Pete

childrens-portrait-photographer-elliot-jonah-bridge-1.jpg

That’s Pete and myself 20 years ago.
Today I walked the rail alone, because Pete had to ride.
It was a beautiful coach and everything;
He always looked his best in his dress blues.

It was a beautiful spring morning then too.
The ground was soft that morning and fruitful;
The worms we got were huge and the trout ate em up.
Almost as big as the ones crawling out from under that tarp.

I brought this picture today to remember important things.
Pete’s sacrifice is obvious and full of meaning.
What’s not so obvious is that
Pete greased the last three feet of that rail.
© 2011 Michael Yost 04/23

Pete could be everyone’s brother, son and father

booguloo@live.com
booguloo.wordpress.com

A Broken Bone

There you sit up high on your throne

Playing with your suitors by throwing a bone

I stood alone letting it fly by

Watching the weakest ones start to cry

 

Two of your suitors gnawed the bone in half

As I still stood alone and started to laugh

The price the winners paid left them bloody

Limping up the stairs ugly and muddy

 

As the Queen’s champion I blocked their sway

Only one man can pass by me this way

Two are stronger than one they spoke aloud

They took me down quickly and pleased the crowd

 

Now there’s two champions one on either side

No bones thrown now since the Queen’s satisfied

Covered with rotten food the Queen let me live

Showing her satisfaction for what I once did

 

© 2013 Michael Yost 02/16

Adjusting Words Past

Come over here and sit by me

On the soft grass under the oak tree

Dreams faded away paint cracked and curled

Once were the days you were still my girl

 

Deny not the smiles they were real

Fears from broken hearts past did peel

Let’s make things right don’t go astray

Adjust the words I said and didn’t say

 

The sun’s going down the end of the day

Look at the time spent we’ve had to pay

We have to go now and I don’t know how

Accepting defeat again with closure now

 

Let me give hope back filling your heart

Give it a chance we’ll have a new start

With our tracks behind us converging

Let’s be together once again merging

 

Don’t take me down on bending knees

I don’t want to but beg I will please

If it’s your will then I’ll push this rock

Never again your door will I knock

 

 

© 2012 Michael Yost 3/22

Finding Lift

Running against the wind you find lift
Enjoying the altitude it’s a gift
Soaring the thermals finding the prey
Seeing bikinis my wings turn to clay

Now twenty feet above the black lake
I’m scared and hoping my legs don’t brake
Target is so dam big I couldn’t miss
Pointing toes slice into the abyss

Speed and weight sucked me into the silt
Up over my knees I started to wilt
Begging the two girls please come and help
Sinking deeper now tied in the kelp

Looking down now from the pearly gate
The four of us did drown but don’t hate
Suits have no pockets no money this time
Door bell’s broke the phone takes dimes

© 2015 Michael Yost 06/06

May I Wonder Aloud?

Like the song, I ask where all the flowers have gone.

Where are the people that were part of my life growing

up as a babe and young boy?

I know the answer; they have slipped away into a memory

I have the memories, deep memories, I should be happy.

 

Next the teenage years and a lot of the same people are

there; but there’s new ones too. They were priming me

 for the new adult life and the first loves of a teen.  It was

happy anxiety.  Those people and the girls have all slipped

away into memories.  I have the memories, deep memories,

I should be happy.

 

As a young man the 7 seas were going to be my home

and I married a young lady to keep my house. We had one

child and finally four growing up and out of the home. 

Three have wives and husband of their own. Those children raised

me!  The wife and I drew apart and the family all slipped

away into memories. I have the memories, deep memories,  

I should be happy.

 

Aging as people do, I found a few friends; the kids were

all far away and I turned to writing as an outlet. Nothing

was ever published, but that didn’t matter; the writing

was for my benefit, no one else’s. One day the Doctor

told me I would soon lose my memories and after a

while I would finally die. So now I write even more of my

memories, so I can remember them; so I should be happy.

 

 

© 2012 Michael Yost 2/7

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The First Sin

Nothing can ever hide my flames
Winds bow down keeping away the rains
I do flap in the winds of regret
Asking will I ever pay my debt

Sins overwhelm my forgiveness
My sincerity is not conscious
Laughing aloud at my lack of faith
Hoping He rests instead on day eight

One more day to gain my faithfulness
Recognizing how hard I Acquiesce
She’s mine and the first woman named Eve
Now our sins cause us to leave and griEve

© 2015 Michael Yost 08/21

Never Again, Again

The pressure is familiar weighing heavily on my chest and feelings. Happening at least two times in the past.  One left me flat on my back with tubes coming out of everywhere with various colors flowing.  The second one was the worst place I’ve ever been.

Pushed again into the darkest area of my psyche. No hand or footholds to help me out and I started to cry uncontrollably for no real reason.

Then they came in like what spirits might do. I only guess of course but very different from the last time. Gaining control of my heaving they seemed not to see or hear me when I tried to introduce myself.

So I’m alone again falling deeper into myself without any hope of coming out of it.  Now they’re translucent and disappearing. Losing track of time days melting together with only one line left.

© 2015 Michael Yost 04/25

Makes Me Cry

Mountains spread the echoes from my sighs
Trying to hide from who’s making me cry
Silence so loud it sang our old song
She erupted and ran our chances gone

Later the siren’s song drew me near
Causing all my fears to disappear
Her scaled tail slapping out loud the beat
My will slipping away, I dove deep

Raising the spell, my head is clearing
I have to vanquish it for the King
Finding the Golden sword I grabbed it
Swimming to the surface I swung quick

Minutes went by her head sank fast
Looked in the water I sat aghast
Tail fins turned into feet made me sigh
Nowhere to hide from who makes me cry

© 2015 Michael Yost 07/29

Side By Side

You’ve stole my heart the day we met
Our two souls mingle now sharing our breath
Now It beats for two with no regret
Breathing now labored with thoughts of death

Pulling away our feelings strained
Grabbing each other we reconnect
It’s no use as we try to explain
Knowing each other we’d resurrect

The King screamed to the gallows post haste
His Princess had ran away before
Her Father had enough being disgraced
Hinges squeaked opening the trap doors

© 2015 Michael Yost 07/20