Tag Archives: Depression

A Slower Path

What we’ve taken on heavies our load
Done with such confidence that we seemed bold
Truth be known we’ve slipped up before now
Dreams had to be left behind disavowed

Not being forgot, a slower path we’ll take
Our reputation being built on what we make
Not like Sisyphus we’ll roll over the peak
Finding smaller hills from others who speak

© 2016 Michael Yost 5/23

Poet’s Words

The words reflect the poet’s depth of thought
Accounting for antagonist’s naught
Crushed by the wheels of the juggernaut
Accomplishing without looking haut

© 2011 Michael Yost

In the Glass I See

There in the glass I see a sixteen year old boy with an old man’s mask on. I begin to notice the dark circles under the green eyes that sparkle; nothing dull yet; but his glasses do need cleaning. I see white stubble and mustache with a two inch long goatee on his saddening face; like he’s had no reason to shave in the past few days. Looking closer I see the goatee covers a weak double chin with a single wrinkle that goes down the length of his neck. The same white stubble covers his shaved head to cover the thinning bald spot in the back and what’s left of his front hairline.
His round upturned nose reminds me of a Santa’s nose, but there’s a thin scar going diagonal from the left nostril to the top that makes his nose tilt to the right side of his face. His cheekbones are set high, but it seems to highlight the dark circles more. The ears are long and close to the head.
Wait a minute… he’s starting to smile with a broad grin and his eyes are lighting up and sparkling even more. His whole face transforms and laughs a little with a tear rolling down his cheek and then is when I happily succumb to my fate realizing the old man is me and that my wrinkles are really my laugh lines. My green eyes are still that of the sixteen year old from so many years ago… but they’re still with me today.

© 2011 Michael Yost 12/10

I Haven’t Done Anything yet Either

The halls echo softly with children’s cries

Mom lies in her locked hole getting high

Garbage strewn beneath the children’s feet

Refrigerator unplugged with nothing to eat

 

Bulging bellies in America hard to believe

And there’s no one around to care or to grieve

Fly’s in the kid’s eyes are having a feast

Even the roaches deserted with no crumbs to eat

 

© 2011 Michael Yost 06/20

Hurt and Love are Magnetic

You hurt when one of your loved ones hurts. There are no words that can make their hurt go away or ease unrequited love.  All you can do is be there when needed.

2016 Michael Yost 04/08

Cold Again

Her side is cold again
Asking aloud what about us
I’ve have always been here
I did it this time by turning your head away

Nobody lives forever on the blue
Smaller than a grain of sand’s molecules
Single molecules one million times smaller than a grain
Tumbling in the abyss being pushed and pulled

The walls were cold and very white
Not unlike the foam from her ski do’s wake
I caused her to look away and she hit a boat
And her side will again be cold

© 2013 Michael Yost 05/06

I Need to Up Wright

I need to write this today
Waiting to fall in love and play
I need to melt at first sight
And please let it happen tonight

My ache is real and gaining strength
The pendulum blade drops in length
How many failures before my death
Before the blade takes my last breath

Last words written with the fall of night
Then the Queen’s ball only pairs in sight
I see Gwen smile does she wait for me?
No the Prince comes up and I flee

© 2016 Michael Yost 04/10

A Test for Truth

Whispers of the truth somehow lose their way
People find enjoyment changing what they convey
Others can’t genuinely hear what was said
More often I think this is how lies are spread

When whispers come stop them in their tracks
Don’t be part of the problem don’t join the attack
Or tell them to speak up so all around can hear
Besides if you’ve done nothing what would you fear

© 2011 Michael Yost 06/26

Self Pity

Self pity is the worst possible emotion anyone can have. And the most destructive. It is, to slightly paraphrase what Wilde said about hatred, and I think actually hatred’s a subset of self pity and not the other way around – ‘It destroys everything around it, except itself.’

Read more at: http://www.azquotes.com/picturequote/6282

Found Memories

Renewed feelings slipped through my defense
Had to make room they were getting intense
Beating back only stiffened their resolve
Heart’s overflowing as it dissolves

Passing by again her head held high
Mona Lisa smile eyes piercing deny
Any love left has gone by the way side
Now I see it nothing’s left but to die

© 2016 Michael Yost 03/23

 

Adjusting Words Past

Come over here and sit by me
On the soft grass under the oak tree
Dreams faded away paint cracked and curled
Once were the days you were still my girl

Deny not the smiles they were real
Fears from broken hearts past did peel
Let’s make things right don’t go astray
Adjust the words I said and didn’t say

The sun’s going down the end of the day
Look at the time spent we’ve had to pay
We have to go now and I don’t know how
Accepting defeat again with closure now

Let me give hope back filling your heart
Give it a chance we’ll have a new start
With our tracks behind us converging
Let’s be together once again merging

Don’t take me down on bending knees
I don’t want to but beg I will please
If it’s your will then I’ll push this rock
Never again your door will I knock

© 2012 Michael Yost 3/22

Nepotism Negatives

We follow them double back up the creek
Then the dogs losing our scent was bleak
The Queen gagged over the saddle awake
She doesn’t know I do this for my sake

My words no longer has the power
They went astray when I turned coward
Even holding my feet to the fire
I can’t tell the truth known to be a liar

They planned to kill us both yesterday
My wicked brother was next and paid
Telling Queen mother other son’s plans
Racing to hope with a new lifespan

She had her archers kill all but one
The man riding the white horse her son
Taking him to the stocks and later hung
Then the Queen died and His subjects sung

© 03/15 Michael Yost 2016

 

The Lesser of Two Evils

The Lessor of Two Evils

Listen, her sobs shaking the tower
Slimy trolls are climbing towards her
Her mother-in-law left her to rot
Her elfin ears were burning red hot

She knew her mother-in-law was mad
She didn’t know why and it made her sad
The troll’s breath straightened her golden curls
Making her so sick it made her hurl

Trolls started melting and died from her puke
Far off she seen her husband the Duke
His mother started to run away
Knowing very well she’d have to pay

He called the Princess, let down your hair
When he reached the top, she was scared
He cut her hair and tied it secure
Had her follow him down staying demure

© 03/12 Michael Yost 2016

Disguise

*”If you wanna find
Out what’s behind these cold eyes
You’ll just have to claw
Your way through this
Disguise”

Working the floor smiling hiding tears
People behind pushing trying to steer
Her young death hard keeping up the facade
Sadness now wanting madness’s rod

No more penance and self flagellation
Opening these gate’s reputation
Run away or you’ll make your own wreath
Looking up you’ll see you’re underneath

© 03/10 Michael Yost 2016

*In The Flesh
Roger Waters
Pink Floyd
The Wall

Aluminuggets

Not having ten advisors I look to you
You seem to know the answers with no voodoo
Watching the caldron my fate seems to bubble up
Dipping in the chalice I taste the corrupt

Picking up the gold nuggets emptying the cans
Looking towards the new horizon I stand
Watching the sun crest over the fall tree line
Gathering in the carts I count all that’s mine

© 03/03 Michael Yost 2016

When Will You Fight

 

When are you going to get up and fight
Knowing you’ll be found righteous and right
Laying on the floor sobbing is quite the sight
Get up when you fail show him your spite

Facing the mirror blood flows like he said
Fingers interlaced behind my head
Feeling defeated forehead on the wall
There was a tear sheet, “You Better Call Saul”

© Michael Yost 03/16

A Blank Life

Meth Pipe

 

 

 

 

Tempted by an old addiction
A friend went over the top
Falling into his old routine
Now he’s unable to stop

Triggering deep seated issues
Feelings from so long ago
Getting high rather than crying
Going with the flow

What caused this aberration?
Bringing back the black hole
Stampeding over emotions
Smoke floating over the bowl

The blank in life surrounding
Only memories from the past
Keep coming to the forefront
Torturing tears of the harassed

© 2011 Michael Yost 10/01

 

Awkward Blues

Clumsy, fall on my ass awkward blues
Walking down the street tripping over my shoes
Clumsy fell on my ass, passed some gas
Rolling around with the awkward blues

Ran into a pole, fell in a hole awkward blues
Tripped up a curb bumped blind Herb
Stepped on his cup, kicked him in the nuts
Scoffed his new shoes, I call it the awkward blues

Singing the song slipped headlong
Into a bus stopped along
The street, knocked me off my feet
Stringing you along awkward blues

© 2011 Michael Yost 07/02

I remem….

My memories rushing out with the tide
Tears well up bubbling goodbye and cry
Body’s braking and hair is gray
You can feel good times slipping away

The older have lapsed and now devoid
Scattered away with the broken toys
More are slipping and times we enjoyed
The only slap left is being unemployed

© 2014 Michael Yost 04/13

Crusted Gaze

Depression rages
Strangling sanity’s loose hold
Sleep eludes the night
Cowering away daylight
Leaves all but a crusted gaze

©2010 Michael Yost 12/23

Tweaker

meth-043

Busted seams of tattered dreams deeds hidden from the sun
Driven by the dawning twilight, only to be spun
Twitter tweakers face aglow, nursing a warm beer
Sweaty fingered Razor tweeting, “McKenzie needs a lift here”

Last lick bindle prick, reflection surrounds the spoon
Shifting stance, shoulder glance, hiding from the moon
Rubbing thread bare Ruby Rigid swollen with desire
Live for today, never stay, time will soon expire

© 2010 Michael Yost 11/09

Favorite Things

Water boarding prisoners and pulling off nails
Beating their backs with my cat o nine tails
Brown human packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Shaving their heads with nicked and dulling razors
Zapping their soft spots with high voltage Taser’s
Lemon and lime juice make paper cuts sting
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in cammies with cameras that flashes
Piling up prisoners not covering their asses
Some didn’t make it and wished for some wings
These are a few of my favorite things

When the trials start
When the prisons close
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad

© 2011 Michael Yost

Teach Your Children

Once tangled up in an addicted existence
Kept my family hostage, but at a distance
Now they’re gone, done with coexistence
Not by mine, but with their insistence

I’m blessed by most with conversation
Texting mostly with a short duration
I’m not complaining now, it’s still a relation
It’s a new life for all, dealing with isolation

© 2011 Michael Yost 07/09

A Broken Bone

There you sit up high on your throne

Playing with your suitors by throwing a bone

I stood alone letting it fly by

Watching the weakest ones start to cry

 

Two of your suitors gnawed the bone in half

As I still stood alone and started to laugh

The price the winners paid left them bloody

Limping up the stairs ugly and muddy

 

As the Queen’s champion I blocked their sway

Only one man can pass by me this way

Two are stronger than one they spoke aloud

They took me down quickly and pleased the crowd

 

Now there’s two champions one on either side

No bones thrown now since the Queen’s satisfied

Covered with rotten food the Queen let me live

Showing her satisfaction for what I once did

 

© 2013 Michael Yost 02/16

Not Left Behind This Time

Left behind to play with himself
Finding a puzzle he might solve
All the other kids went ahead
When they seen him often they fled

He was a normal and quiet boy
Mother was poor not many toys
Father had left for some reason
Mother mumbled about treason

Left alone too while mother worked
She told him uptown a store clerk
Some boy’s drunken dad let it out
He saw his mom whoring about

Grew up stronger and tougher too
Came up alone fought quite a few
Signed up Marines a paradox
A dad for sad until the pine box

© 2011 Michael Yost 05/11