Tag Archives: Lonliness

Poet’s Words

The words reflect the poet’s depth of thought
Accounting for antagonist’s naught
Crushed by the wheels of the juggernaut
Accomplishing without looking haut

© 2011 Michael Yost

In the Glass I See

There in the glass I see a sixteen year old boy with an old man’s mask on. I begin to notice the dark circles under the green eyes that sparkle; nothing dull yet; but his glasses do need cleaning. I see white stubble and mustache with a two inch long goatee on his saddening face; like he’s had no reason to shave in the past few days. Looking closer I see the goatee covers a weak double chin with a single wrinkle that goes down the length of his neck. The same white stubble covers his shaved head to cover the thinning bald spot in the back and what’s left of his front hairline.
His round upturned nose reminds me of a Santa’s nose, but there’s a thin scar going diagonal from the left nostril to the top that makes his nose tilt to the right side of his face. His cheekbones are set high, but it seems to highlight the dark circles more. The ears are long and close to the head.
Wait a minute… he’s starting to smile with a broad grin and his eyes are lighting up and sparkling even more. His whole face transforms and laughs a little with a tear rolling down his cheek and then is when I happily succumb to my fate realizing the old man is me and that my wrinkles are really my laugh lines. My green eyes are still that of the sixteen year old from so many years ago… but they’re still with me today.

© 2011 Michael Yost 12/10

Melancholy Mood, Bob Dylan

Found Memories

Renewed feelings slipped through my defense
Had to make room they were getting intense
Beating back only stiffened their resolve
Heart’s overflowing as it dissolves

Passing by again her head held high
Mona Lisa smile eyes piercing deny
Any love left has gone by the way side
Now I see it nothing’s left but to die

© 2016 Michael Yost 03/23

 

Nepotism Negatives

We follow them double back up the creek
Then the dogs losing our scent was bleak
The Queen gagged over the saddle awake
She doesn’t know I do this for my sake

My words no longer has the power
They went astray when I turned coward
Even holding my feet to the fire
I can’t tell the truth known to be a liar

They planned to kill us both yesterday
My wicked brother was next and paid
Telling Queen mother other son’s plans
Racing to hope with a new lifespan

She had her archers kill all but one
The man riding the white horse her son
Taking him to the stocks and later hung
Then the Queen died and His subjects sung

© 03/15 Michael Yost 2016

 

Aluminuggets

Not having ten advisors I look to you
You seem to know the answers with no voodoo
Watching the caldron my fate seems to bubble up
Dipping in the chalice I taste the corrupt

Picking up the gold nuggets emptying the cans
Looking towards the new horizon I stand
Watching the sun crest over the fall tree line
Gathering in the carts I count all that’s mine

© 03/03 Michael Yost 2016

The Curb Can be Cold

Here we are again, once more on the curb
What we own is here, on the lawn, in the “burb”
All were looking and we’d hoped not to disturb
Old friends closed drapes, when Dad’s cries were heard

His job and home gone, no one seemed to care
Once his shotgun was found, he looked for stares
Raising his gun, cops killed him there in his chair
All were looking and we’d hoped not to scare

© 2014 Michael Yost 03/05

Favorite Things

Water boarding prisoners and pulling off nails
Beating their backs with my cat o nine tails
Brown human packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Shaving their heads with nicked and dulling razors
Zapping their soft spots with high voltage Taser’s
Lemon and lime juice make paper cuts sting
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in cammies with cameras that flashes
Piling up prisoners not covering their asses
Some didn’t make it and wished for some wings
These are a few of my favorite things

When the trials start
When the prisons close
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad

© 2011 Michael Yost

Growing Older

 

Growing older shortens time
The sun and shovels blister
Dead Men’s Chest off key’s a crime
Dying is lifetime’s closure

This is not the bitter end
The wheelhouse rolls with raves
And the main sail billow sends
Helped pushed and pulled by waves

The dead men told no tales
And those who danced with Jack Ketch
Or went for Moby Dick the whale
Anything else was another stretch

© 2014 Michael Yost 05/13

Teach Your Children

Once tangled up in an addicted existence
Kept my family hostage, but at a distance
Now they’re gone, done with coexistence
Not by mine, but with their insistence

I’m blessed by most with conversation
Texting mostly with a short duration
I’m not complaining now, it’s still a relation
It’s a new life for all, dealing with isolation

© 2011 Michael Yost 07/09

Intoxicating Scent

Under my fingertips your lips were moist.
I was certain I heard your pleasure voiced
Those goose bumps were real, I felt at your door.
That brief stolen kiss whispering one more

My feet in the door, one more kiss to gain
Hands slid down your frame I knew you’d abstain
Intoxicating scent left on my hands
I left rather quickly fearing quicksand

©2011 Michael Yost 04/28

“Bar Stool” Gary Jules

Old man on a barstool watching TV
Got up and came over to sit closer to me
He said “You look familiar to someone I knew
But when were your age we were older than you
Jimmy was twenty and I seventeen
And to us there was nothing but girls and machines
Jimmy got married and I went to war
I still don’t know what we were doing it for
But if you’ll buy me a drink–turkey on ice
Then I could give you some advice

“You just stay in the bar
For as long as you can
As long as you’re drinking
Then you’ve got the world in your hand

“There’s no shame in hanging your world by a string
And you know there’s no harm in not thinking a thing
But trying to find a place for yourself in this world
Is like trying to make a wife of an American girl
If you’ll trade me a drink for a story or two
Then you’ll know what you need to do

“You just stay in the bar
For as long as you can
You know love is for sissies
It’s whiskey that makes you a man”

Now the old man got up and stumbled out in the street
He’d been drinking all day and left his bar tab with me
I didn’t have the money to cover his bill
But I found me a man who looked like me, younger still
And said, “Buy me a drink and I’ll tell you a tale
About the old man who taught me so well

You just stay in the bar
For as long as you can
Hell I know you’re a friend
I can tell by the shakes in your hand
You just stay in the bar
For as long as you dare
As long as you’re tipping
Then you’ve got a good friend somewhere

Traces of Faces

Traces of faces staring while  on my calloused knees

Praying to release me from their dark ceremonies.

The Brothers slamming doors driving it back into my ears.

Overwhelming my head causing these streams of tears

 

Crawling up the wall slipping on the children’s tears soaked moss…

Finally falling feeling failure and another loss.

I gave away my possession’s as I was being pulled back

Keeping moldy bread that I found and water in a sack.

 

The ten foot doors were closed and locked.

My efforts were answered with a rock to knock.

A brown hooded robe came with dark sunken eyes.

My mind remembering all the pain, hate and lies

 

I was a baby left with the Brothers years before.

My nightmare’s were started behind their locked doors.

Walking through the door wishing the keystone would drop.

Remembering at eight working the fields tending the crops.

 

© 2015 Michael Yost 01/10

My Hiding Place

All I can give are these few words written here

Uncovering part of my life hoping to clear

Being left behind wrestling with my old fears

The same unspoken problems behind my tears

 

No molds or experience just an empty void

Tripping over my cold darkened thoughts yet a boy

Being held backward or worst yet pushed through destroyed

Reliving parts of my life no longer being toyed

 

The mirrored web cracked splintering some of my sins

While I tip toe on eggshells, needles and pins

Hoping today the rest of my life begins

Opening the locked doors that are held tight within

 

© 2014 Michael Yost 04/05

Four Blank Walls

Being caught up into her stagnation
It’s hard work watching her four blank walls
Rocking my chair in alienation
Her breathing and my rocking had stalled

Indiscernible music and lyrics
Screaming silence into her musty room
Wiggling their arses farting satiric
Opening my mind’s eye seeing the gloom

Being left alone staring at her walls
Only seeing the dust around the frame
Fading memories as pictures fall
Nothing now will ever be the same

© 2015 Michael Yost 07/19

Split It

They say I’ve got to make change
For the next transfer…
Looks like you’ve got too much.
Let’s split it so we can both walk instead.
I hope your back pocket doesn’t have enough
change for the transfer.

©2015 Michael Yost 07/16

Given These Tears Today

Given these crocodile tears today
Forgive me exposing my broken heart
And me as my heaving body sways
To our old song now broken apart

Only she can kiss away my tears
She’s walking down to the river’s bank
Going to skip flat rocks we did for years
We were both happier with many thanks

Following her to the river’s edge
Picked up a rock and skipped it down stream
Quietly bringing up our life long pledge
And when we put together our dream

If your intentions are to leave pure
I will walk away with no more words
Nothing but sobs without any cure
Tears came as I turned away eyes blurred

It’s time for a session with the truth
You walked in this morning your head down
We have invested our time since our youth
We locked our eyes and you skipped your crown

© 2015 Michael Yost 07/01

Abandoned (Dad Who?)

After nine months in and nine months out
You stole away a coward without a shout
A mother of forty a son in her arms
When you left that day you stole all their charms
Going to work now I will be back tonight
When the door slammed shut you took off in flight
Abandoned alone in a cold water flat
She knew in her heart you wouldn’t be back

 

© 2015 Michael Yost 06/21

Shoulders Ballooning*

Tension in my shoulders ballooning
I want to break Hannah and her horse
There’s voices coming from actors lips
Not their own and speak with volume down

How to deal with this torment alone
I know get off my ass and phone
some friend………

© 2015 Michael Yost 06/08

*Started 3 days ago

Finding Lift

Running against the wind you find lift
Enjoying the altitude it’s a gift
Soaring the thermals finding the prey
Seeing bikinis my wings turn to clay

Now twenty feet above the black lake
I’m scared and hoping my legs don’t brake
Target is so dam big I couldn’t miss
Pointing toes slice into the abyss

Speed and weight sucked me into the silt
Up over my knees I started to wilt
Begging the two girls please come and help
Sinking deeper now tied in the kelp

Looking down now from the pearly gate
The four of us did drown but don’t hate
Suits have no pockets no money this time
Door bell’s broke the phone takes dimes

© 2015 Michael Yost 06/06

Watering the Soul

My tears fill the hole that she left behind

I built it inside my soul, where she was enshrined

My chin sitting upon my chest feeling confined

Fog covers the dark street where I walk resigned

 

Mutual friends cross the street in advance

Passing with their loud whispers and piercing glance

Looking up from their footfalls and my trance

I wave with a smile under these circumstances

 

Twisting and turning trying to find the crack

When we talked, it became personal attacks

Things were put aside that used to be whacked

Watching two people turn each other’s heart black

 

Striping new wires to try and connect

Amperage too high, another reject

Nothing left to do with too much to expect

Boarding up the hole and my soul now introspect

 

 

© 2012 Michael Yost 08/30

Invisible

I sit alone in my living room
Watching you pass by every day
Never seen your smile just hanging gloom
Some things not seen will forever stay

My desires and eyes follow your walk
Looking forward in finding a way
To not to become a laughingstock
Introducing myself at your doorway

It’s five o’clock on a Saturday
Walking by her chin rests on her chest
My feet getting cold and getting old
And probably will be for life

 

© 2015 Michael Yost 05/28

Nothing Like before

 

The world is empty and void without you

As I spin the flesh falls off and drifts into space

Raw emotions left at the pulsating core

With nothing left to embrace

Nothing like before

 

The cold vacuum ices over the warmth of distant stars

Drawing out the last bit of life I have left

Pulsating less and less till no more

Frozen solid conscious yet alive stalling death

Nothing like before

 

Or does your conscience just stream and dream

When you die, left spinning, just beginning

The world is empty and void without you anymore

No forgiveness of my sinning

Nothing like before

 

© 2011 Michael Yost 06/09

Over Duet

Who should I address these love letters to
The girls I fell in love with years too few
I am sorry that they are way overdue
But still hold the meaning my loving you

Can’t hold on to reality much longer
It’s hard to define one from another
Degrees of pain seems to be the measure
Try erasing gains off the pain’s ledger

So we grasp another with devotion
Tugging, hugging and feeling emotion
Without overdoing your burning charcoal
Would you please stay and fill the loopholes

© 2015 Michael Yost 05/22

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Beyond Purpose

We all have a purpose beyond who we are
Ignoring it and pushing it too far
Everyone knows it comes up too late
Ignoring me and pushing me to hate

Now just around the next corner I peeked
This far away I could smell him he reeked
Leaving mom and me alone long ago
We each forgave watching bloody piss flow

© 2015 Michael Yost 04/26