Tag Archives: Melancholy

Poet’s Words

The words reflect the poet’s depth of thought
Accounting for antagonist’s naught
Crushed by the wheels of the juggernaut
Accomplishing without looking haut

© 2011 Michael Yost

In the Glass I See

There in the glass I see a sixteen year old boy with an old man’s mask on. I begin to notice the dark circles under the green eyes that sparkle; nothing dull yet; but his glasses do need cleaning. I see white stubble and mustache with a two inch long goatee on his saddening face; like he’s had no reason to shave in the past few days. Looking closer I see the goatee covers a weak double chin with a single wrinkle that goes down the length of his neck. The same white stubble covers his shaved head to cover the thinning bald spot in the back and what’s left of his front hairline.
His round upturned nose reminds me of a Santa’s nose, but there’s a thin scar going diagonal from the left nostril to the top that makes his nose tilt to the right side of his face. His cheekbones are set high, but it seems to highlight the dark circles more. The ears are long and close to the head.
Wait a minute… he’s starting to smile with a broad grin and his eyes are lighting up and sparkling even more. His whole face transforms and laughs a little with a tear rolling down his cheek and then is when I happily succumb to my fate realizing the old man is me and that my wrinkles are really my laugh lines. My green eyes are still that of the sixteen year old from so many years ago… but they’re still with me today.

© 2011 Michael Yost 12/10

I Need to Up Wright

I need to write this today
Waiting to fall in love and play
I need to melt at first sight
And please let it happen tonight

My ache is real and gaining strength
The pendulum blade drops in length
How many failures before my death
Before the blade takes my last breath

Last words written with the fall of night
Then the Queen’s ball only pairs in sight
I see Gwen smile does she wait for me?
No the Prince comes up and I flee

© 2016 Michael Yost 04/10

Life’s Memories

I love the old porch swing’s poetry
What’s left of my life’s memories
Going back I find some new stories
Why did they hold them back from me

They think I don’t know what’s going on
Still watching the clocks till I’m gone
Where’s the poems I had for the songs
Tick tock I know what’s going on
2012 Michael Yost 02/07

Gutter Pizza

Worm-Vomit_thumb.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gutter pizza steams
Round worms seek shelter
Pigeons flock to scene

Broken zipper streams
Boil weeping smelter
Gutter pizza steams

Lacerations scream
Doubling up, welter
Pigeons flee the scene

Conscience fades to dreams
Nightmare now alters
Gutter pizza steams
Pigeons flock to scene

© 2011 Michael Yost 02/09

A Broken Bone

There you sit up high on your throne

Playing with your suitors by throwing a bone

I stood alone letting it fly by

Watching the weakest ones start to cry

 

Two of your suitors gnawed the bone in half

As I still stood alone and started to laugh

The price the winners paid left them bloody

Limping up the stairs ugly and muddy

 

As the Queen’s champion I blocked their sway

Only one man can pass by me this way

Two are stronger than one they spoke aloud

They took me down quickly and pleased the crowd

 

Now there’s two champions one on either side

No bones thrown now since the Queen’s satisfied

Covered with rotten food the Queen let me live

Showing her satisfaction for what I once did

 

© 2013 Michael Yost 02/16

Adjusting Words Past

Come over here and sit by me

On the soft grass under the oak tree

Dreams faded away paint cracked and curled

Once were the days you were still my girl

 

Deny not the smiles they were real

Fears from broken hearts past did peel

Let’s make things right don’t go astray

Adjust the words I said and didn’t say

 

The sun’s going down the end of the day

Look at the time spent we’ve had to pay

We have to go now and I don’t know how

Accepting defeat again with closure now

 

Let me give hope back filling your heart

Give it a chance we’ll have a new start

With our tracks behind us converging

Let’s be together once again merging

 

Don’t take me down on bending knees

I don’t want to but beg I will please

If it’s your will then I’ll push this rock

Never again your door will I knock

 

 

© 2012 Michael Yost 3/22

The First Sin

Nothing can ever hide my flames
Winds bow down keeping away the rains
I do flap in the winds of regret
Asking will I ever pay my debt

Sins overwhelm my forgiveness
My sincerity is not conscious
Laughing aloud at my lack of faith
Hoping He rests instead on day eight

One more day to gain my faithfulness
Recognizing how hard I Acquiesce
She’s mine and the first woman named Eve
Now our sins cause us to leave and griEve

© 2015 Michael Yost 08/21

My Hiding Place

All I can give are these few words written here

Uncovering part of my life hoping to clear

Being left behind wrestling with my old fears

The same unspoken problems behind my tears

 

No molds or experience just an empty void

Tripping over my cold darkened thoughts yet a boy

Being held backward or worst yet pushed through destroyed

Reliving parts of my life no longer being toyed

 

The mirrored web cracked splintering some of my sins

While I tip toe on eggshells, needles and pins

Hoping today the rest of my life begins

Opening the locked doors that are held tight within

 

© 2014 Michael Yost 04/05

Four Blank Walls

Being caught up into her stagnation
It’s hard work watching her four blank walls
Rocking my chair in alienation
Her breathing and my rocking had stalled

Indiscernible music and lyrics
Screaming silence into her musty room
Wiggling their arses farting satiric
Opening my mind’s eye seeing the gloom

Being left alone staring at her walls
Only seeing the dust around the frame
Fading memories as pictures fall
Nothing now will ever be the same

© 2015 Michael Yost 07/19

Given These Tears Today

Given these crocodile tears today
Forgive me exposing my broken heart
And me as my heaving body sways
To our old song now broken apart

Only she can kiss away my tears
She’s walking down to the river’s bank
Going to skip flat rocks we did for years
We were both happier with many thanks

Following her to the river’s edge
Picked up a rock and skipped it down stream
Quietly bringing up our life long pledge
And when we put together our dream

If your intentions are to leave pure
I will walk away with no more words
Nothing but sobs without any cure
Tears came as I turned away eyes blurred

It’s time for a session with the truth
You walked in this morning your head down
We have invested our time since our youth
We locked our eyes and you skipped your crown

© 2015 Michael Yost 07/01

Abandoned (Dad Who?)

After nine months in and nine months out
You stole away a coward without a shout
A mother of forty a son in her arms
When you left that day you stole all their charms
Going to work now I will be back tonight
When the door slammed shut you took off in flight
Abandoned alone in a cold water flat
She knew in her heart you wouldn’t be back

 

© 2015 Michael Yost 06/21

Watering the Soul

My tears fill the hole that she left behind

I built it inside my soul, where she was enshrined

My chin sitting upon my chest feeling confined

Fog covers the dark street where I walk resigned

 

Mutual friends cross the street in advance

Passing with their loud whispers and piercing glance

Looking up from their footfalls and my trance

I wave with a smile under these circumstances

 

Twisting and turning trying to find the crack

When we talked, it became personal attacks

Things were put aside that used to be whacked

Watching two people turn each other’s heart black

 

Striping new wires to try and connect

Amperage too high, another reject

Nothing left to do with too much to expect

Boarding up the hole and my soul now introspect

 

 

© 2012 Michael Yost 08/30

Invisible

I sit alone in my living room
Watching you pass by every day
Never seen your smile just hanging gloom
Some things not seen will forever stay

My desires and eyes follow your walk
Looking forward in finding a way
To not to become a laughingstock
Introducing myself at your doorway

It’s five o’clock on a Saturday
Walking by her chin rests on her chest
My feet getting cold and getting old
And probably will be for life

 

© 2015 Michael Yost 05/28

Beyond Purpose

We all have a purpose beyond who we are
Ignoring it and pushing it too far
Everyone knows it comes up too late
Ignoring me and pushing me to hate

Now just around the next corner I peeked
This far away I could smell him he reeked
Leaving mom and me alone long ago
We each forgave watching bloody piss flow

© 2015 Michael Yost 04/26

 

Their Depressions

I can’t speak of geniuses and their depression but I too wallow in words. A few tears choked and primed presses the accelerator towards oncoming traffic or walls if necessary. Unaware or no one cares about the body count as long as I get the well deserved attention from those I love the most? Look at me, stroke my head, see me touch me feel me. Even Tommy knows the score and listen very intently and you might hear Rod Sterling saying, “On the sign post ahead It’s an area which we call … The Twilight Zone….”

© 2015  Michael Yost 04/10

Every June and July I Hide Inside

 

Holding onto pain because there’s nothing more
Black nails pick endlessly at open sores
Fire ants crawl up my arm screaming for a score
Who wants to recognize better to ignore

It’s time for the Prom and to start the party
Expects me to pick her up well and hearty
The King and Queen can’t be to late or swarthy
Cutting lines in the car and the door hurried

Start of the drizzle with wet card boarded roof and walls
Our last shared eight was cut heavy, light and small
Rivulets forming and finding taint and balls
Brings black rain twisted metal and her scream’s death call
© 2015 Michael Yost 03/28

Two Shadows Together as One

All of this confusion was never meant to be

Suddenly my future is going to the blue sea

Trying to grasp her shadow I fall on my face

My life forever changed and all I do is pace

 

Being free I miss what I hated most

Having way too much time to slide and coast

Now it takes a lot of work to sit and do not a thing

I had lots of ideas then that I could do on a wing

 

Nothing can stop me now except my free will

The images of what was, over flow’s my fill

Coming from my eyes and the silent screams inside

The sun is rising, laying in my sweat and my head is fried

 

It’s a new day expecting to find my my new way

So many voices from the crowd but I must say

Rising above the chatter clearing my brain

Must find the the door of progress to the next pain

 

Now I start floating up and rise above the noise

Her shadow is still silent and I’m losing my poise

Let me ask one last question that I am now free

Will our shadows ever merge and come to be

 

© 2014 Michael Yost 08/05

What About Tomorrow

Where did her facets go that held his heart
We had hoped that they’d never be apart
Exposed to cold’s hold with white snow blowing
Then to see his opened wound with blood spilling

See his blood dripping down his left shoulder
Wounds like that some men never recover
Everyone who’s anyone knows what he could be
Of course his heart is held by the words of He

Your love can leave at a moment notice
Whistling Dock of the Bay with Otis
Singing Walk on By with Dionne Warwick
Or You’ve Got a Friend holding a carrot
© 2014 Michael Yost 07/11

Shivers

I’m glad you plucked it in from the air above you.
It just passed through my hair leaving silver slivers.
Gathering our thought’s basting them together
Towards balancing our being together forever

Our separate love’s of sadness and sorrow
Gives our new pattern together tomorrow
Old is new and new could be forever
Or my favorites, jeans from my pass me downs

© 2014 Michael Yost 06/12

The Blew Beach

The beach was really where we wanted to be
But the warm wet waves pushed up high tide
Dragging our lunch and towels out to sea
Then anger’s air blew until our tears dried

© 2014 Michael Yost 06/05

May I Wonder Aloud (Repeat)

Like the song, I ask where have all the flowers gone.
Where are the people that were part of my life growing
up as a babe and young boy?
I know the answer; they have slipped away into a memory
I have the memories, deep memories, I should be happy.

Next the teenage years and a lot of the same people are
there; but there’s new ones too. They were priming me
for the new adult life and the first loves of a teen. It was
happy anxiety. Those people and the girls have all slipped
away into memories. I have the memories, deep memories,
I should be happy.

As a young man the 7 seas were going to be my home and I married a young lady to keep my house. We had one child and finally four growing up and out of the home. They all have a wife and a husband of their own. Those children raised me! The wife and I drew apart and the family all slipped away into memories. I have the memories, deep memories, I should be happy.

Aging as people do, I found a few friends; the kids were
all far away and I turned to writing as an outlet. Nothing
was ever published, but that didn’t matter; the writing
was for my benefit, no one else’s. One day the Doctor
told me I would soon lose my memories and after a
while I would finally die. So now I write even more of my
memories, so I can remember them; so I should be happy.

© 2012 Michael Yost 2/7

A Dream is a Dream is a Dream?

The anchor’s dragging from the wind blowing
Sails are stowed so the boat must be towing
Two anchors dropped bow into the waves
Dark clouds with sheets of rain counting graves

Pealing thunder brought Hope from the cabin
Snapping a switch Hope brought out the lightning
Purple, blue and white colors lit up the night
Asking Hope smiling if she had a kite

No but we must go see Davy Jones
The boat started to sink shivering bones
Hope sang a magic song I’d never heard
Capturing my heart and soul the words blurred

Jumping overboard and I started to swim
My confusion cleared up out of the dim
Out of my dream I wake up in the moat
The first one offering her hand was Hope

© 2014 Michael Yost 05/25

Daddy’s Shoes

I fill these large shoes but stumble
Falling down hard I am humbled
All around jeering mumbles
Like it’s funny that I tumbled

Again my self talk is bad
I only want to be sad
Where’s your reason to be glad
Your goodness drives me mad

Walking the earth to be hurt
Wanting your ear not your skirt
Finally mocking overt
Calling me an introvert

Crying so long I started a tide
Then slipping on my backside
Rolling in poo again I cried
It’s got to be time for suicide

The shoes fall off climbing up
I slipped down holding on snug
Three more feet to crest the top
Almost there to take the flop

No Ideating, Just flipping the bird
How many listened to or heard
Close off your brain, open your heart
Hear their cries before they depart

© 2014 Michael Yost 05/23

 

 

Love and Time

 

Running away the fences breaking
Can’t stop all the feelings rushing through
Broken hearts left in the wake aching
Barb wire digging deep and stretching wounds

Rain and tears mixed into sweat follow
Leaving me naked wandering half blind
Now flesh falling leaving my shadow
Find a new shadow and walk behind

She shouldn’t catch me shadowing to hide
As long as I can mimic the pair
I should be able to live and survive
But at night disappearing ensnared

© 2014 Michael Yost 05/22