Dead Dad*

Father, where’d you go and why so fast
Why didn’t our relationship last?
Was I that ugly or too loud?
Father I promise I would have made you proud

I know deep down it was me that made you leave
Dealing with all those diapers full of shit and pee.
And those looks and the slaps on the cheek
I know it was because I was a freak

Mother told me these things
That it was her and not her little king
Still that doesn’t take away the sting
And now that you are dead dad I sing

© 2011 Michael Yost


*I’ve resolved my feelings about this and have forgiven him and myself for once feeling this way.

24 responses to “Dead Dad*

  1. I know some people who can relate to this poem. Good job!


  2. this brings many emotions to the surface…powerful write


  3. the holidays eh? they do dredge up memories and poems


  4. Relate but still sad . Right to the heart, you did well.


  5. sad, what a fine tribe to Dad.
    bless you both.

    Happy Potluck!


  6. this is painful especially when somebody owns the guilt; when somebody is happy to see one dead. thought provoking but as you said, this is just one side of the coin. Peace and blessings to you 🙂


    • I’ve resolved in my heart now what I did feel growing up as a boy and young man. Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to bring this up as I should have explained earlier.


  7. Hello Michael.
    This was indeed a sad write.
    I lost my dad when I was in my early teens and bit by bit, my memories of him fade.

    I do know that I loved him and he loved me and that memory will always remain in my heart.

    Thank you for sharing and for visiting my blog.


    • If I had the opportunity to have a Dad up to that point I would write down All the memories I could remember. Don’t let them fade; they are too precious; you may want to share them with your other family members at some point


  8. So hard to understand these things, Michael. Too bad you didn’t have a chance to resolve it this side of the grave, but bravo for your strength of forgiveness.


  9. Not all Father’s Day are filled with memories of love and affection. It was sometimes very difficult for me to honor my father on that day. My Dad was a “booger” too!

    I commend you for forgiving him–it takes an understanding and open heart to do that. I like the honesty in your poem.


    • Alcoholism and he had a bad father as well. I’m just glad I escaped the potential for abuse. It’s easier to be honest, because all you have to remember is the truth.


  10. My father was an alcoholic too,–and very self centered (and his father too). I agree with you–I’m glad I escaped that potential. I spent my younger (childhood) years feeling great shame and embarrassment, but no more.


  11. Oh this is really intense and dark. I had an alcoholic psychopathic schizophrenic abusive man for a father and I know the guilt well


    • Sorry to hear, but glad for the result of what seems to be a well adjusted poet in front of me. In my case it’s a mirror reflecting maladjustment.. bwahhh ha ha eeee


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