Father, where’d you go and why so fast
Why didn’t our relationship last?
Was I that ugly or too loud?
Father I promise I would have made you proud
I know deep down it was me that made you leave
Dealing with all those diapers full of shit and pee.
And those looks and the slaps on the cheek
I know it was because I was a freak
Mother told me these things
That it was her and not her little king
Still that doesn’t take away the sting
And now that you are dead dad I sing
© 2011 Michael Yost
http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/2011/06/poetry-potluck-void-loneliness-and.html
*I’ve resolved my feelings about this and have forgiven him and myself for once feeling this way.
Michael's Lair 
I know some people who can relate to this poem. Good job!
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Me too. Sad but true.
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this brings many emotions to the surface…powerful write
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Thanks David. As the muse leads.
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the holidays eh? they do dredge up memories and poems
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The day my mom died as well. That is for another time perhaps.
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Relate but still sad . Right to the heart, you did well.
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One of my favorite sayings is there are 3 sides to every coin. This is just another side of one.
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sad, what a fine tribe to Dad.
bless you both.
Happy Potluck!
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You can, but he was a booger. smiles
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this is painful especially when somebody owns the guilt; when somebody is happy to see one dead. thought provoking but as you said, this is just one side of the coin. Peace and blessings to you 🙂
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I’ve resolved in my heart now what I did feel growing up as a boy and young man. Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to bring this up as I should have explained earlier.
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Hello Michael.
This was indeed a sad write.
I lost my dad when I was in my early teens and bit by bit, my memories of him fade.
I do know that I loved him and he loved me and that memory will always remain in my heart.
Thank you for sharing and for visiting my blog.
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If I had the opportunity to have a Dad up to that point I would write down All the memories I could remember. Don’t let them fade; they are too precious; you may want to share them with your other family members at some point
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So hard to understand these things, Michael. Too bad you didn’t have a chance to resolve it this side of the grave, but bravo for your strength of forgiveness.
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Either way time has closed the possibility. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment.
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Not all Father’s Day are filled with memories of love and affection. It was sometimes very difficult for me to honor my father on that day. My Dad was a “booger” too!
I commend you for forgiving him–it takes an understanding and open heart to do that. I like the honesty in your poem.
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Alcoholism and he had a bad father as well. I’m just glad I escaped the potential for abuse. It’s easier to be honest, because all you have to remember is the truth.
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My father was an alcoholic too,–and very self centered (and his father too). I agree with you–I’m glad I escaped that potential. I spent my younger (childhood) years feeling great shame and embarrassment, but no more.
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It’s no one else’s job to make us feel better about ourselves. I think it’s safe to say that we realized recovery begins with God, prayers and us.
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So touching…
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I’m happy you thought so Jo and for stopping by for a visit. Hope you find the time to come back!
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Oh this is really intense and dark. I had an alcoholic psychopathic schizophrenic abusive man for a father and I know the guilt well
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Sorry to hear, but glad for the result of what seems to be a well adjusted poet in front of me. In my case it’s a mirror reflecting maladjustment.. bwahhh ha ha eeee
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