Tag Archives: Fear

Poet’s Words

The words reflect the poet’s depth of thought
Accounting for antagonist’s naught
Crushed by the wheels of the juggernaut
Accomplishing without looking haut

© 2011 Michael Yost

It Should Have Been Six

 

If she would love me I’d feel it forced

If she would love me I’d feel remorse

It should have happened already by now

It should have happened before our vows

 

If I had known it was out of sympathy

If I had known before today she’d be free

It should have been done with feelings of love

It should have been done without feeling shoved

 

If you told me I wouldn’t be grieved

If you told me I would feel deceived

It should have been your responsibility

It should have been six so you were easier to carry

 

© 2011 Michael Yost 06/27

 

In the Glass I See

There in the glass I see a sixteen year old boy with an old man’s mask on. I begin to notice the dark circles under the green eyes that sparkle; nothing dull yet; but his glasses do need cleaning. I see white stubble and mustache with a two inch long goatee on his saddening face; like he’s had no reason to shave in the past few days. Looking closer I see the goatee covers a weak double chin with a single wrinkle that goes down the length of his neck. The same white stubble covers his shaved head to cover the thinning bald spot in the back and what’s left of his front hairline.
His round upturned nose reminds me of a Santa’s nose, but there’s a thin scar going diagonal from the left nostril to the top that makes his nose tilt to the right side of his face. His cheekbones are set high, but it seems to highlight the dark circles more. The ears are long and close to the head.
Wait a minute… he’s starting to smile with a broad grin and his eyes are lighting up and sparkling even more. His whole face transforms and laughs a little with a tear rolling down his cheek and then is when I happily succumb to my fate realizing the old man is me and that my wrinkles are really my laugh lines. My green eyes are still that of the sixteen year old from so many years ago… but they’re still with me today.

© 2011 Michael Yost 12/10

I Haven’t Done Anything yet Either

The halls echo softly with children’s cries

Mom lies in her locked hole getting high

Garbage strewn beneath the children’s feet

Refrigerator unplugged with nothing to eat

 

Bulging bellies in America hard to believe

And there’s no one around to care or to grieve

Fly’s in the kid’s eyes are having a feast

Even the roaches deserted with no crumbs to eat

 

© 2011 Michael Yost 06/20

I Need to Up Wright

I need to write this today
Waiting to fall in love and play
I need to melt at first sight
And please let it happen tonight

My ache is real and gaining strength
The pendulum blade drops in length
How many failures before my death
Before the blade takes my last breath

Last words written with the fall of night
Then the Queen’s ball only pairs in sight
I see Gwen smile does she wait for me?
No the Prince comes up and I flee

© 2016 Michael Yost 04/10

Melancholy Mood, Bob Dylan

A Test for Truth

Whispers of the truth somehow lose their way
People find enjoyment changing what they convey
Others can’t genuinely hear what was said
More often I think this is how lies are spread

When whispers come stop them in their tracks
Don’t be part of the problem don’t join the attack
Or tell them to speak up so all around can hear
Besides if you’ve done nothing what would you fear

© 2011 Michael Yost 06/26

Self Pity

Self pity is the worst possible emotion anyone can have. And the most destructive. It is, to slightly paraphrase what Wilde said about hatred, and I think actually hatred’s a subset of self pity and not the other way around – ‘It destroys everything around it, except itself.’

Read more at: http://www.azquotes.com/picturequote/6282

Found Memories

Renewed feelings slipped through my defense
Had to make room they were getting intense
Beating back only stiffened their resolve
Heart’s overflowing as it dissolves

Passing by again her head held high
Mona Lisa smile eyes piercing deny
Any love left has gone by the way side
Now I see it nothing’s left but to die

© 2016 Michael Yost 03/23

 

Blowing Away the Blues

The record plays when I’m alone
From a broken heart and home
Like Sisyphus rolling up the boulder
My duty rests on my shoulders

How can I go on without you
I only hope you hear it too
Can you hear it when you arrive
If you don’t how can I survive

The rain has come and washes my doubt
But the record still plays it out
Then she confesses she hears it too
We harmonized blowing away the blues

© 2016 Michael Yost 03/18

Under Her Cup

Keep your only love under your cup
Don’t let your eyes settle too long on him
While sitting at the long table for sup
Close your eyes for prayer and hymn

Your father watches you close to see
Whether your blue eyes remain shut tight
And he can’t see your foot rub his knee
Suddenly the ground shook with a fright

More pleading prayers and hymns calmed the earth
Then a black cloud and red fire spewed up
Like labor opening giving birth
Her secrets out up from her love’s cup

© 03/12 Michael Yost 2016

Disguise

*”If you wanna find
Out what’s behind these cold eyes
You’ll just have to claw
Your way through this
Disguise”

Working the floor smiling hiding tears
People behind pushing trying to steer
Her young death hard keeping up the facade
Sadness now wanting madness’s rod

No more penance and self flagellation
Opening these gate’s reputation
Run away or you’ll make your own wreath
Looking up you’ll see you’re underneath

© 03/10 Michael Yost 2016

*In The Flesh
Roger Waters
Pink Floyd
The Wall

Walking Around Me

Walking around me their heads close together
Heading toward then running up the red stair
The blue stair just ahead slipping on my tears
Trying to catch them on the red stair without fear

Crossing onto the red stairs my nose bled
I’m trying to get over the things they’d said
My own light flickering starting to fade
Breaking my spirit leaving my edges frayed

Now two more behind me conjuring dread
Spells ringing and bouncing inside my head
Crouching down I jumped to the blue stairs
Scared the witches catching them unawares

Jumping higher than I thought possible
I thought that their flying seemed impossible
I seen them fly solving an aged old question
There wasn’t a saddle they stayed on with suction
© 2016 Michael Yost 03/02

When Will You Fight

 

When are you going to get up and fight
Knowing you’ll be found righteous and right
Laying on the floor sobbing is quite the sight
Get up when you fail show him your spite

Facing the mirror blood flows like he said
Fingers interlaced behind my head
Feeling defeated forehead on the wall
There was a tear sheet, “You Better Call Saul”

© Michael Yost 03/16

The Curb Can be Cold

Here we are again, once more on the curb
What we own is here, on the lawn, in the “burb”
All were looking and we’d hoped not to disturb
Old friends closed drapes, when Dad’s cries were heard

His job and home gone, no one seemed to care
Once his shotgun was found, he looked for stares
Raising his gun, cops killed him there in his chair
All were looking and we’d hoped not to scare

© 2014 Michael Yost 03/05

Tweaker

meth-043

Busted seams of tattered dreams deeds hidden from the sun
Driven by the dawning twilight, only to be spun
Twitter tweakers face aglow, nursing a warm beer
Sweaty fingered Razor tweeting, “McKenzie needs a lift here”

Last lick bindle prick, reflection surrounds the spoon
Shifting stance, shoulder glance, hiding from the moon
Rubbing thread bare Ruby Rigid swollen with desire
Live for today, never stay, time will soon expire

© 2010 Michael Yost 11/09

Growing Older

 

Growing older shortens time
The sun and shovels blister
Dead Men’s Chest off key’s a crime
Dying is lifetime’s closure

This is not the bitter end
The wheelhouse rolls with raves
And the main sail billow sends
Helped pushed and pulled by waves

The dead men told no tales
And those who danced with Jack Ketch
Or went for Moby Dick the whale
Anything else was another stretch

© 2014 Michael Yost 05/13

Teach Your Children

Once tangled up in an addicted existence
Kept my family hostage, but at a distance
Now they’re gone, done with coexistence
Not by mine, but with their insistence

I’m blessed by most with conversation
Texting mostly with a short duration
I’m not complaining now, it’s still a relation
It’s a new life for all, dealing with isolation

© 2011 Michael Yost 07/09

Best Read with New Meds

Lazy eye turns and I see double

Tired eyes close, the start of the trouble

Drifting away, sleep seals my work

Minutes later, a sudden jerk

 

Awake now and ready to start

Writing half lines within my heart

It’s a price I pay with new meds

Wonder if it’s worth, sleeping instead

 

© 2012 Michael Yost 1/15

Adjusting Words Past

Come over here and sit by me

On the soft grass under the oak tree

Dreams faded away paint cracked and curled

Once were the days you were still my girl

 

Deny not the smiles they were real

Fears from broken hearts past did peel

Let’s make things right don’t go astray

Adjust the words I said and didn’t say

 

The sun’s going down the end of the day

Look at the time spent we’ve had to pay

We have to go now and I don’t know how

Accepting defeat again with closure now

 

Let me give hope back filling your heart

Give it a chance we’ll have a new start

With our tracks behind us converging

Let’s be together once again merging

 

Don’t take me down on bending knees

I don’t want to but beg I will please

If it’s your will then I’ll push this rock

Never again your door will I knock

 

 

© 2012 Michael Yost 3/22

You’re Back

You’re back for hidden answers here
Stop listening to those unclear seers
Stinking thinking can only steer fears
Poets write for themselves not your tears

There’s no encryption written in here
Talking to you within is the seers
The encryption lies within your fears
Poets aren’t your harbor stop your tears

© 2015 Michael Yost 08/27

The First Sin

Nothing can ever hide my flames
Winds bow down keeping away the rains
I do flap in the winds of regret
Asking will I ever pay my debt

Sins overwhelm my forgiveness
My sincerity is not conscious
Laughing aloud at my lack of faith
Hoping He rests instead on day eight

One more day to gain my faithfulness
Recognizing how hard I Acquiesce
She’s mine and the first woman named Eve
Now our sins cause us to leave and griEve

© 2015 Michael Yost 08/21

Looking Glass

You’re laughing out loud again
How long do you think you can pretend
Looking at your looking glass, your weakness
Talking to his mirror’s only friend

© 2015 Michael Yost 06/09

Shoulders Ballooning*

Tension in my shoulders ballooning
I want to break Hannah and her horse
There’s voices coming from actors lips
Not their own and speak with volume down

How to deal with this torment alone
I know get off my ass and phone
some friend………

© 2015 Michael Yost 06/08

*Started 3 days ago

Finding Lift

Running against the wind you find lift
Enjoying the altitude it’s a gift
Soaring the thermals finding the prey
Seeing bikinis my wings turn to clay

Now twenty feet above the black lake
I’m scared and hoping my legs don’t brake
Target is so dam big I couldn’t miss
Pointing toes slice into the abyss

Speed and weight sucked me into the silt
Up over my knees I started to wilt
Begging the two girls please come and help
Sinking deeper now tied in the kelp

Looking down now from the pearly gate
The four of us did drown but don’t hate
Suits have no pockets no money this time
Door bell’s broke the phone takes dimes

© 2015 Michael Yost 06/06